Dave stared at the closed door, listening for any sign of footsteps in the hallway. The silence was heavy, broken only by the distant creak of floorboards. Every night since moving in, bedtime brought a chill of dread. He glanced at the closet, wishing he could disappear.

Uncle Ernie grinned, his eyes twinkling with mischief as he tiptoed toward the bed. "Evening, Davey. Ready for a good laugh?" Dave shrank back, already bracing himself. Uncle Ernie lunged, fingers wiggling, and laughter erupted—painful, unstoppable, until tears streamed down Dave's cheeks and he gasped for breath.

Dave[/@ch_1] crouches inside, heart pounding, clutching a flashlight.] Dave whispered to himself, trying to swallow his fear. He pressed his back against the wall, hoping Uncle Ernie wouldn't find him tonight. The scent of mothballs was strong, and the closet seemed to close in tighter with every breath. Suddenly, he felt a heavy, scaly hand clamp down on his shoulder.

Dave[/@ch_1], its face an awful blend of chartreuse and bisque, with glowing red eyes and a beak-like mouth lined with yellow fangs.] Closet Monster bent down, its breath hot and sour. "I'm your monster in the closet. Every little boy has one. But why aren't you scared of me?" Dave blinked, trembling, but managed to reply, "I'm more scared of Uncle Ernie." The monster cocked its head, looking almost hurt. "I'll fix that! Send him in here!"

Dave[/@ch_1] steps out of the closet. Uncle Ernie stands by the door, arms crossed, eyes narrowed. The air crackles with challenge.] "There's a monster in my closet," Dave whined, his voice quivering just enough. "There's no such thing. I'll show you," Uncle Ernie scoffed, puffing out his chest as he strode into the closet. The door slammed shut behind him, plunging everything into darkness.

"Scared him out of 30 years growth, then tickled him until he wet his pants," the monster announced proudly. Dave stared, mouth agape, as realization dawned. "Now am I the most scary thing in this house?" "I'll let you know once I see Mom and Aunt Martha's reactions to Uncle Ernie's change," he replied, his lips twitching with a nervous grin.