The homeowner sits in their living room, eyes fixed on the Ring app, scrolling through snapshots and videos, a ruffled piece of paper in hand. Shadows flicker across their face as they recall the events of the last 24 hours.
"Doctor, there was a time when I watched Netflix or YouTube or even TikTok. But four months ago, I bought a Ring doorbell, a late-night purchase. Now I watch that. The Ring Doorbell. I never knew what an exciting life my front door had."
The homeowner watches as nature unfolds. The hedgehog’s tiny, earnest journey is interrupted only by the drama in the sky, as bats twirl and dance, their movements recorded for posterity.
"23:46, a little hedgehog trips across the drive. 00:21, a pair of bats—mates, I suppose—fly in front of the Ring for hours. Then, at 02:03, a cat crosses. The camera catches it all. Sometimes I wonder if my doorbell sees more than I ever do."
The homeowner notes the time and details, each event logged with care. The post lady slips a letter through the door, glancing briefly into the camera—her smile lingers, and the homeowner wonders if it was meant for them.
"06:05, the neighbor’s dog poops on my driveway and he doesn’t pick it up. 08:56, the post lady delivers a letter. I think she likes me; she smiled right into the Ring. 09:03, I leave for work, and catch the back of my head. I swear my hair is thinning."
Evri Delivery Driver and Yodel Delivery Driver appear, each with a parcel. The homeowner’s interactions are brief but oddly intimate, the Ring capturing every exchange.
"10:15, I have my first speaking role—Evri delivers a box. I ask him to leave it on the porch. 11:01, Yodel arrives with another package. He thinks it’ll fit through the letterbox, and it does. We chat, each word caught by the Ring."
Son’s Friend and Canvasser make their appearances, voices bright and persistent. The camera records the mother yelling at her child as they return from school, the driveway a stage for everyday drama.
"12:45, my son’s friend arrives, singing. 13:12, a canvasser tries to sell me something through Ring. 14:05, Deliveroo brings food—my son must be out of bed. It’s box after box. We’ll have words about his expenses."
Girlfriend and Friend with weed are caught in the Ring’s lens. The son’s friend leaves, the girlfriend departs with a kiss, and the night creatures return. The hedgehog is back, and a cat appears again, unconcerned by the camera.
"17:28, I’m back home—my hair is definitely thinning! 18:43, my girlfriend arrives. 20:23, my friend brings weed and we talk for 24 minutes on the doorstep. 22:34, my girlfriend leaves, I kiss her goodbye. The hedgehog returns, and I greet him on my screen: ‘Nice to see you again, my prickly friend.’"
The homeowner sits across from therapist, the office filled with soft light and the muted sound of city life outside. As they recount their Ring Doorbell day, a ping sounds from the therapist’s phone—another delivery, another Ring moment.
"Doctor, is this normal? Do others watch their Ring doorbell like I do?"
"Hold that thought. I have a delivery on my Ring Doorbell!"
"Who needs Netflix anymore when you can get a Ring Doorbell instead?" The homeowner leaves, watching Ring on their phone as the bus carries them home, and another Ring adventure begins.
